Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Unemployment Blues


(Click here to see embedded video)

Today is Wednesday, August 18th and I've been unemployed for eight months and ten days.

Which is fairly mind-blowing since I haven't been out of work since I was a 10 year-old helping my brothers and sisters on their newspaper routes until I was old enough to get one of my own. I worked all through school and also college and grad school, which I paid for myself via scholarships, grants and loans. And now here I am with these degrees and no job!

It would actually be ok with me if I didn't have to, you know, pay rent and utilities and, next month, I'm supposed to start paying my student loans again... Not sure how that will happen since Matt's still out of work too and we're living off my meager unemployment and my even more meager salary for doing some freelance editing work.

I've done more art stuff during this period than ever before and was hoping I could turn that into some sort of income stream, but I seem to lack the knack to make people want to buy my stuff. Even though everyone *says* I should be able to make money on it.. so doesn't happen. I haven't been able to find any more commissions either, which was how I was making money on it for about a minute.

I also haven't been able to find any methods of money-making that I could employ besides that, though I've been looking and researching... even going so far as to look at going back to school, though that would just put me farther into debt so it doesn't seem very helpful at all (especially considering how worthless my degrees turned out to be in the job market).

So, I don't know what's going to happen to me and my little family of Matt and the cats who depend on me. Worst case scenario is not paying my student loans and messing up my credit.. at least until the unemployment insurance runs out, and then I won't be able to afford my apartment anymore... and end up homeless or something.

No - wait! WORST CASE scenario would be my having to take some sort of sales person job where I can feel my heart and soul and mind atrophy and I lose all energy for my creative work. Really hoping that doesn't happen. =\

All I can do is wait and see... (For some reason, imaging the worst possible likelihood makes me feel confident that I could handle it. For instance, right now I'm plotting how to tend to the flame of my creativity if I have to get another freaking sales job...)

Related posts:
FML
Sleep Troubles
Leap of Faith

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6 comments:

Joe Pontillo said...

My unemployment lasted for 15 months. I'm still getting used to the fact that I'm not constantly on the verge of financial collapse.

I followed a path similar to yours - took advantage of the time to work on personal projects. I did a lot of writing and, like you with your art, believe I can and should get paid for it.

Just keep at it. It's nothing personal. The economy has screwed over a lot of good people. I'm pretty sure the upswing is beginning.

May said...

Yeah, I know it's just kind of symptomatic of the times and all... but it's still frustrating.

Applecart T. said...

i thought you both quit your jobs willingly.

May said...

No. Matt did. I was laid off without any warning way back in January. I know I've mentioned it before.

Applecart T. said...

oh, right. sucks. sorry.

where i work, there is no unemployment (insurance) option, though. jumping ship or even being kicked off it b/c it's sinking = $0.

i clicked around about the save your mortgage government plans stuff, and after reading about all the hoops and paperwork, pretty much just decided it would be "easier" to take on more jobs, retail or not.

i hate being on the titanic!
i wish i could help you jobify, too.

do you ever check this site:
http://www.npconnect.org/page/jobs/?cl_cid=12151&cl_v=ads&cl_six=20

(you know, b/c we all totally want to be screwed in the nonprofit world again, right ; )

May said...

Thanks :) I've been checking npconnect more-or-less regularly. Sometimes I even apply for things! That's how I got a couple interviews but nothing ever came of it. Darn..