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Today is Wednesday, August 18th and I've been unemployed for eight months and ten days.
Which is fairly mind-blowing since I haven't been out of work since I was a 10 year-old helping my brothers and sisters on their newspaper routes until I was old enough to get one of my own. I worked all through school and also college and grad school, which I paid for myself via scholarships, grants and loans. And now here I am with these degrees and no job!
It would actually be ok with me if I didn't have to, you know, pay rent and utilities and, next month, I'm supposed to start paying my student loans again... Not sure how that will happen since Matt's still out of work too and we're living off my meager unemployment and my even more meager salary for doing some freelance editing work.
I've done more art stuff during this period than ever before and was hoping I could turn that into some sort of income stream, but I seem to lack the knack to make people want to buy my stuff. Even though everyone *says* I should be able to make money on it.. so doesn't happen. I haven't been able to find any more commissions either, which was how I was making money on it for about a minute.
I also haven't been able to find any methods of money-making that I could employ besides that, though I've been looking and researching... even going so far as to look at going back to school, though that would just put me farther into debt so it doesn't seem very helpful at all (especially considering how worthless my degrees turned out to be in the job market).
So, I don't know what's going to happen to me and my little family of Matt and the cats who depend on me. Worst case scenario is not paying my student loans and messing up my credit.. at least until the unemployment insurance runs out, and then I won't be able to afford my apartment anymore... and end up homeless or something.
No - wait! WORST CASE scenario would be my having to take some sort of sales person job where I can feel my heart and soul and mind atrophy and I lose all energy for my creative work. Really hoping that doesn't happen. =\
All I can do is wait and see... (For some reason, imaging the worst possible likelihood makes me feel confident that I could handle it. For instance, right now I'm plotting how to tend to the flame of my creativity if I have to get another freaking sales job...)
Leap of Faith
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