Monday, July 12, 2010

The Last Cephalopod

This is my latest, and possibly last, cephalopod painting. It's called "Asperger's Syndrome." This is what I said about the painting when I posted it to deviantArt:

I am a woman with Asperger's Syndrome (a form of Autism), but like most women with AS, I went undiagnosed until just a few years ago. Finding out how this has shaped my life and experiences has been both liberating and painfully frustrating - since now I know that all these things that are "wrong" with me aren't ever going to go away.

When I'm feeling really bad, I feel as I have shown here: part dummy/part puppet controlled by a giant monster that is scary despite being fairly well-intentioned. I feel like people often sense the monster lurking behind the puppet and its why they don't like being around me.

I have a feeling this will be the last cephalopod painting I make for myself (though I'm happy to do them for commissions and one already has shown up in my new set of mandalas). I think it throws all my other cephalopod paintings into a wildly different perspective... at least, it does for me.
Like I said, I really am intrigued at how this causes me to reinterpret my previous stuff, which I personally thought was pretty cheery... until now. Although, it's like me to want to focus on the cuteness of my "monstrous" personality instead of the dark, painful side of it, which I very rarely talk about.

So you should put that in your pipe and smoke it... all the way to seeing my Magical Cehapolopod show at the Westport Coffee House (4010 Pennsylvania Kansas City, Mo). It's only there until the end of July, so please stop by and let me know what you think! :)

Related posts:
Come See My Art Show
Wordless Wednesday: Magical Cephalopods
Event Pics: KC Chalk & Walk

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Kris the Vagabond said...

Love the painting! I will definitely come by and see your art show - in fact, I'll make it a stop on the Yellow Brick Road Trip. I've been meaning to include the Westport Coffee House and your art show is a brilliant addition. :)

May said...

That's awesome Kris! Thanks :D

Joe Pontillo said...

This does, indeed, shine a new light on your cephalopod series. It was interesting to follow that process - you weren't sure what inspired it at first, and you worked through your thoughts and feelings as you went along with each new piece. I think you've reached a fascinating conclusion. Well done!

May said...

Thanks Joe! Also, that's a very succinct way of putting the whole process!

jen@ricochet said...

Hi! I've been stalking your blog!

I love this piece! And I love the way you describe your relationship with AS just as much.

I understand the monster more than I could explain. It's just that I know a different moster, equally cute and well intentioned. :) It really helps me appreiciate this piece!

Dammit! We so could use more people that are willing to express what it's like! I haven't tried, except to those very close to me, so I have mad respect!

May said...

Thank you, Jen, for reading and for letting me know about it :)

I appreciate your encouragement! This was a hard post for me to put up.