Thursday, June 3, 2010

The Results of My Temporary Teetotaling

Note: For some reason I woke up and thought it was Friday today. So this counts as tomorrow's post. Don't be expecting another one :P

My month without alcohol was pretty informative, I have to say. I learned that I'm totally cool with not drinking even in party situations, and that it really doesn't affect how much fun I have (or don't) except that when I drink I get sleepy and cranky faster than otherwise. So it turns out that if I really want to stay out and party, I should probably stay away from the booze.

I also reverted to a state of emotional sensitivity that I haven't been in touch with for a very, very long time. Back when I was a kid, just about anything could make me well up in tears, even if they didn't last long. After enough of my siblings telling me I was "too sensitive" and being frustrated that no one seemed to give a crap about what I felt, I decided one day to stop crying and then I didn't cry for about 7 years, except under extreme circumstances.

The past couple years have been really great ones for my emotional healing of past trauma, and I've been getting more sensitive and subsequently weepier. But take out the booze and holy shit! I'm right back to being a little kid who can't help squeezing out tears several times a day if something strikes me just wrong - or right. I cry about stuff that makes me happy too. It frustrates me a little to be leaking liquid out of my face so much, but I'm got to accept that for whatever reason my body needs to make a physical response to things. Trying to ignore it made me miserable, so while letting myself cry a lot isn't exactly fun at the time, it makes for a much more peaceful May.

My creativity wasn't affected one way or the other.

I didn't make any drastic changes to my normal schedule of events, going to two parties though I knew I'd be the only sober one there, to see if my lifestyle would hold up sans booze. And while, like I said before, it didn't change how much fun I had, it did change my perspective on why I probably shouldn't go to parties. I personally go to parties to try and make new friends and, of course, have a good time. Going to parties sober showed me just how much others use parties as an excuse to drink and maybe interacting with strangers might happen, but I've found it's hard to translate party meetings into friendships, I guess cause no one remembers the bonding from the night before? Anyhoo, after this experiment, I think I'll go to fewer parties, cause sitting around watching people get drunk is something I'm basically over and I'd rather invest my time where I can make meaningful connections.

What else? Hm.. oh yeah! The acid reflux or heartburn, whatever, (I use them interchangeably myself and I'm too lazy to look them up to find out the difference), is absolutely linked to the booze, I found. I didn't have a problem with it when I wasn't drinking. However, I drank twice since the month was over and the second time, even though I drank what I considered to be a small amount, I got really disturbing acid-y stuff burning in my throat, which makes me not want to drink.

So basically the result of my experiment was to drastically cut down the amount of alcohol I plan to consume ever again, and help me move out of the left-overs of the party lifestyle I had in my brain from college. Also, now I blubber like a baby again instead of repressing my tears and stressing myself out. All good things!

Related posts:
Vlog: Temporary Teetotaler
True Tales of Alcoholism
Kurt Vonnegut on Substance Abuse

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Spyder said...

Awesome results I would say!

Kim Williams said...

personal verdict - life is better full bore, unfiltered, non-sedated. life is better w/o booze.

Joe Pontillo said...

So it would be a mistake to ever gift you one of the awesome wines I discovered on my trip?

May said...

I don't know about that! :) I do still plan to drink occasionally.