Oh the Futility...

I'm feeling like a total loser because my self-published poetry book has yet to sell a single copy.

It's not like I had HUGE EXPECTATIONS OF A BREAK-AWAY SUCCESS. I wasn't expecting crowds of people to be snatching it up like the latest Grisham novel or whatever. I know poetry isn't a popular medium, and I'm ok with that.

But I have like 15o subscribers on this blog (last time I bothered to check), over 600 on Twitter and you'd think somewhere in those numbers, there'd be at least, I don't know, ten people who actually like poetry or want to support me enough to buy the damn thing.

But nope, nada.

Even my friends who have heard me bitch and moan about no one buying the book and have been all "I'll buy it!"... haven't.

So depressing.

There's nothing like working my heart out and no one giving a damn to make me feel like the way I spend my time and energy is a total freaking waste.


Related posts:
Truth, Love, Blood and Bones Available Now!
Time Lines: Local Poetry Anthology
Poetry Exercise of Yesteryear

Like what you see? Subscribe here

Why Destroying All Humans Isn't the Answer

Jezebel had an article earlier this week about plants having feelings and whether or not that makes vegetarians worse than carnivorse. While I strongly believe plants have feelings (if you don't, you should read The Secret Life of Plants where an entire series of experiments shows otherwise), I don't think that makes people who eat veggies bad.

On the other hand, I get seriously irritated when people end up articles about food, the way this one was, by saying stuff like this:

The truth is, the best thing human beings could do for (almost) every other species on Earth would be to cease to exist. Anytime we choose to keep ourselves alive at the expense of other living things — which we do all the time, consciously or not — we sacrifice a certain amount of our moral purity. This is something people on both sides of the debate about food politics have to accept — that vegetarians will never be entirely morally perfect, and that this lack of perfection doesn't invalidate what they're trying to do. (source)

I mean, seriously, that is some BULLSHIT. Humans evolved like all the other species on this planet to work together, to be the check and balances for one another. That's why the top predators keep their prey herds healthy, etc., etc. The thought that humans are somehow separate from this cycle is so ridiculous, so conceited and so moronic that it drives me nuts.

Plants may not feel great about dying all the time, but I seriously doubt they have a problem being used FOR THE PURPOSES THEY EVOLVED FOR. It's not like we're going up to a cloud and trying to eat it, which would be pointless and confusing for the cloud, I'm sure. This is stuff that mysterious path of evolution created to feed the world.

I think it's just a bad idea to have such a whacked-out view of the world and how it works that we think that removing humans would be the best thing for plants. Trees and other plants often work at their peak efficiency ONLY when humans are tending them. We evolved these crazy thumbs and fingers for reasons beyond scratching our own asses. We can care for plants and animals in ways they could never do for themselves.

We aren't a separate part of the system, whether or not we want to believe we are. We have a place and a purpose here that I sincerely believe the animals and plants need us to fulfill.

Mass genocide or suicide of the human race is not anywhere near being the solution to our problems.

[/rant]

Related posts:
Eat and Be Satisfied
What I Wish I Knew When I Became a Vegetarian
How to Make Tofu (So It Doesn't Suck) [Guest Post]

Like what you see? Subscribe here

Merry Xmas, Y'all

Little tree
little silent Christmas tree
you are so little
you are more like a flower
who found you in the green forest
and were you very sorry to come away?
see i will comfort you
because you smell so sweetly
i will kiss your cool bark
and hug you safe and tight
just as your mother would,
only don't be afraid
look the spangles
that sleep all the year in a dark box
dreaming of being taken out and allowed to shine,
the balls the chains red and gold the fluffy threads,
put up your little arms
and i'll give them all to you to hold
every finger shall have its ring
and there won't be a single place dark or unhappy
then when you're quite dressed
you'll stand in the window for everyone to see
and how they'll stare!
oh but you'll be very proud
and my little sister and i will take hands
and looking up at our beautiful tree
we'll dance and sing
"Noel Noel"
-e.e. cummings

While I don't really celebrate Christmas, ( just go along enough not to be thought of as a Scrooge) I still hope you have a good one.

Siblings and the Holidays

My friend @yourdailyjoe shared an article with me about sibling rivalry and why siblings can drive you nuts that got me thinking about my crazy childhood and why I rather like my siblings. While I always had a level of combat with my siblings and they're the reason why I'm so freaking scrappy and enjoy a good fight or wrestle, I always also considered them my compatriots in the war against the parents (AKA the battle to get out of childhood alive and not too wounded) and therefore felt a level of trust and safety around them that wasn't always reciprocated, but all in all we made each other's lives somewhat less miserable (usually).

These days, even though some of my siblings find me ....uh... odd, it is also weirdly comforting to be around them and to know that

• they know all the shit I've gone though (to a certain point) more than anyone and don't judge me for it;
• we all went through some fucked up stuff and ended up pretty freaking okay; and
• we're smart and strong enough not to let what happened to us determine our happiness for the rest of our lives.

It's bittersweet to be around them, especially when we're still always dealing with how our parents drive us freaking crazy, but it's something that makes me aware of just how good my life is now... beyond the wildest dreams of my childhood and definitely beyond anything I expected as an adult.

Anyway, it's one of the things I'm grateful for this time of year: having all the brothers and sisters that I do... especially when it comes to family gatherings. The more of them that are around the less I have to worry about my parents paying attention to me, which is always stressful.

Related posts:
Beauty Saves, Pain Defines
Anxiety and My Genetic Inheritance
Turning Into Mother

Like what you see? Subscribe here

Classic Matinees Now at the Tivoli

Tivoli Cinemas in Westport is showing four classic films on sequential weekend matinees now through January 10th. You just missed Some Like It Hot, which I hadn't seen before and thoroughly enjoyed.

This upcoming weekend they're showing Casablanca, which I've seen about a billion times because it was my older sister's favorite movie when we were kids, but I've never seen it on a big screen, so I've got to do that.

Then on Jan. 2-3 they're showing Duck Soup, starring Groucho Marx, and Jan. 9-10 is Breakfast at Tiffany's, one of my favorite old flicks.

All showings are at 12:45 PM.

The best part is tickets are only four dollars so you can afford it after all that present buying (oh and there's some crap about a discount which I didn't really understand and no one explained to me but I wasn't going to use it anyway so I didn't ask).

Related posts:
Dharma Gallery Now Open in Westport
MST3K Fans: Get Ready to Roadtrip!
Westport Courtyard: Now and Then

Like what you see? Subscribe here

Robyn: Ridiculous Pop Princess

Robyn is cracking me up. She is so ridiculous, I can't help but giggle and that makes me a happier person. Tiny chicks with huge attitudes are fabulous. And her Tank Girl-esque hair do is pretty darn cute too. This is her self-description as heard on her self-titled album:

You cannot stop this. You cannot escape it and you cannot turn it off. So, I’d appreciate your kind consideration in this matter, Sir or Mam, would you please turn it the FUCK UP.

I present to you: the queen of queen bees, phoenix from the ashes risen. World record holder with a score of 2 GAZILLION in Tetris, two time recipient of the Nobel prize for Super-Foxiest female EVER, and wartime consigliore to the Costa Nostra.

She’s the founder and CEO of Konichiwa Records. The most decorated professional on the streets, with a perfect track record since kindergarten when she used to whup schoolboy ass.

In this world of tension, pressure and pain, she’s known for her wisdom, compassion and relentless determination in the quest to GET PAID.

(Click to see embedded video)


(Click to see embedded video)


(Click to see embedded video)


(Click to see embedded video)


(Click to see embedded video)

Related posts:
Put Your Headphones On (Your Heart)
Kelly Loves Shoes, Hates Decks
Lene Alexandre Has Okay Boobs

Like what you see? Subscribe here

The Gusto Lounge

The new Gusto Lounge isn't someplace I thought I'd be visiting. I found their sign proclaiming they are "the bar that made Midtown famous!" so ridiculous and obviously not true that I wasn't going to patronize them. Then it turned out that some of our dearest friends went to high school with the two guys who bought it and so we all went there Monday night.

My buddy Tommy and one of Gusto's owners, Steve House

My friend Ruth quoted Ink's recent article on them before we got there, saying it was like "your uncle's man cave." And it was a very accurate description. Loads of retro furniture and kitsch made the Gusto Lounge amusing and comfy. My favorite was the old airline seats.

Resident Stevil and my fiance Matt being manly in the man cave

On the whole though, I dislike the way the downstairs is laid out (but I didn't like that when it was the Lava Room either). It's too oppressive in the bar area with all the darkness and the great big art thing hanging down from the bar and it's totally the opposite in the other room where there is pool but almost no seats there. Also the breeze coming in from the cracked window was unpleasant.

The antlers were one of my fave decorations.

The upstairs, called "Top Shelf" was much more my style, but sadly my camera batteries died before we made it up there. It was Monday night so there were a couple of couples salsa dancing all impressive like, the bar has a boatload of weird but awesomely so drinks, and the layout was more open and the furniture was also retro, but in a cute way instead of a vaguely trashy-on-purpose way.

All in all, I had a fun time and I would definitely go there again.

Like what you see? Subscribe here

The Sadness

I broke up with my girlfriend last Saturday after waking up and realizing our relationship had slipped back into "friend" status and I wanted a girlfriend who treats me like a girlfriend and is able to make me a priority.

I'm totally bummed about it. I made serious long-term goals around this relationship and watching them dissolve sucks on top of feeling all achey and rejected and bummed out. Plus I feel bad for her because being broken up with always sucks and then I'm worried that maybe she'll start to hate me like some of the other ppl I've broken up with in the past and then I wish I could call her and ask her if we're okay and if she's okay but I think I should give her her space and so I just get all fretful and then I start feeling lonely and then I get sad and it goes on...

I keep telling myself that one of these mornings I'll wake up and not want to cry about it and I'll be okay again.

Right now, though, I'm a very sad panda. Also, I hate break ups.

Related posts:
How I Discovered I Was Polyamorous

Seen Around Midtown: Snow!

So we're walking home from a friend's party Tuesday night/Wednesday morning in a gorgeous snowfall, wandering in the middle of the streets because no one else is out, and Matt is all "It's the most beautiful thing I've EVER SEEN!" and I'm all, "Whatever, American Beauty, hurry your ass up!"

Can you guess which one of us had to work in the morning?

I'll give you a clue.. it was me.

Related posts:
Seen Around Midtown: Autumn Leaves
Seen Around Midtown: Norman School
Seen Around Midtown: Graffiti

Like what you see? Subscribe here

Cat Wrastlin'

My cats aren't as active as they were as kittens, but they still like to wrestle on a more-or-less daily basis - especially Inky, the youngest one. I managed to catch them on video being ridiculous and simply had to share...


Pinky v. Inky


Inky v. cat toy


Pinky v. Inky v. box


Inky v. cat scratcher (made to hang on door knobs) full of fresh catnip


Pinky v. Inky rematch


Related posts:
Why My Cats Are Like Children
Cats Gone (Mildly) Wild on Camera
My Little Turn on the Cat Walk

Like what you see? Subscribe here

My Conservation Project: Update 2

If you'll remember, I've been given my grandmother's trunk and spoon collection, both needing some fixing up! Thus far, I've only worked on the trunk, which you last saw cleaned and sanded. Since then I primed it and made it a gross shade of gray.


At this point I was totally unsure of how to proceed. I thought it would be easy to decide on a color, but it was the hardest part of the entire project. I spent hours gazing at color samples and ended up hating everything I even temporarily chose. I was kind of freaking out as I had already primed the trunk and needed to paint the darn thing within 2 weeks of doing that! Then, I was chatting with my friend @jacaphene about my indecision and she sent me a picture of a steamer trunk that became my inspiration for updating my grandma's trunk:

Neat, right?

I used acrylic copper paint to paint panels in the top of the trunk and the little tin stars that decorate it.


Next, I used an anti-rust paint from Sherwin Williams for the body of the trunk (which is a combination of wood and metal) that I got for only $9 thanks to my fiance working there. Here it is with a single coat:

And here's the finished trunk:
I got it done in time for my family to see and admire it on Thanksgiving. I was happy they all liked it since I feel it's still communal property even though it's residing in my apartment at the present.

Next up: I will have to tackle the god-awful grime on my grandma's spoons.

Related posts:
My Conservation Project: Update 1
My New Conservation Project

Like what you see? Subscribe here