For those of you who don't know, GLBT = Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered.
The suckiest thing about being bi is not fitting into either the straight world or the gay world and having the gay world refuse to let you feel safe from the straight world (where OMG the gender assumptions drive me MAD) with them because you're not "gay enough." Turns out, I'm not the only one feeling this way either. Pink News reported:
Stonewall research has suggested that bisexual people face a number of challenges in being open about their sexuality at work.The LGB charity commissioned research and interviews with bisexual employees and found that feeling excluded by lesbian and gay co-workers was a particular concern for bisexual staff.It found that both straight and gay people were likely to have little awareness of bisexuality, assuming that bisexuals must be in the closet or straight people wanting to experiment.
One private sector worker told researchers: "I think the lesbian and gay community has made tremendous strides of progress over the last several years. Of course there’s a long way to go, but I would say that the bisexual community is many years behind where the lesbian and gay community is."
In the gay community, I feel attacked and judged for being who I am.
Bisexuals are often treated as if we're cheating because we have the option of looking "normal" to society - never mind if we don't want that "advantage" and would rather be seen for ourselves; and generally, it seems the overall consensus of queers is that bis are simply just greedy, as gay male acquaintance of mine told me the last time I was at Sidekicks, a local gay bar.
Discovering that you're not straight in this society comes with a barrel full of problems from family, friends and society at large. Having attractions to both sexes instead of one, doesn't really make this any less problematic in terms of self-discovery, self-acceptance or community acceptance. But it seems like gay people don't really take this to heart. Bi women are treated as heart-stealing harpies in lesbian pop culture and the overwhelming message seems to be that we simply cannot be trusted as much as lesbian women or gay men or trans persons.
This is really frustrating for me, because I don't feel in anyway straight, whether or not I look like it from the outside. To me, the essential sexual alignment of my soul is pointed towards women and I often wish I came off as dykey as I feel. But I'm just not that butch. Fitting in with straight people is doable, but not my first choice. Unfortunately, my alternative is often being told verbally in some way or just through dirty looks that I'm not gay enough to fit with the queers, which makes me want to pout and cry.
It amazes me that the gays who judge me don't comprehend that being bisexual doesn't save you from the pain, isolation and awkwardness of not being straight and it doesn't make your life any easier. Instead, I have to deal with straight people not understanding that I'm not straight or even half straight and thus still being treated like a straight woman, and I have to deal with gays treating me like I LOVE coming off all straight and shit, all the while I have no community support for the unique bullshit that I have to deal with in such situations, because I, like most bis I know, don't feel accepted enough in GLBT communities to share our problems and to be heard in a sympathetic way so we don't go there for help.
Not to gloss over the ABSOLUTELY AMAZING non-judgmental fabulous straight, trans, queer and gay people who simply accept me as I am! Though few and often far-between, it is a blessing. But overall, being bi ends up being just one more frustrating challenge for your favorite little weirdo who don't quite fit in no place in this very fractured society we have.
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