So, I went to the Kauffman Gardens and wrote a guest post for Kris on The Yellow Brick Road Trip all about it - including this crazy ass insect we saw:
It looked even weirder in real life than it did in the photos later, but we were glad that we at least got proof of this totally alien-looking shrimp-dragonfly-hummingbird-thing and have enjoyed shocking people with its oddity.
Flashforward couple weeks later and I'm passing the time in Borders after being witness to a bondage/flogging/humiliation scene, waiting for the Dom and sub to finish the screwing bit of the evening and I run across a rack of $1 books. I stop to look, pick up Gardens of the Imagination: A Literary Anthology and start paging through it. The selections are either interesting or culturally significant and the accompanying illustrations by Peter Malone are beautiful and extremely evokative so I'm all excited by my find and I get it.
After I got home that evening, I was flipping through parts of the book I'd missed before and all of a sudden I was shocked and amazed to stumble across an illustration of the exact same crazy ass insect, which, according to the accompanying text, is called a hummingbird moth, which makes a lot of sense because it moved exactly like a hummingbird, which is one of the reasons it looked so freaking WEIRD.
So totally random I couldn't not share. Thankyouverymuch.
The beautiful drawing up for grabs this week is the lovely Trickster seen below:
The colors on this aren't true to life. The colors are more vivid and not so yellow throughout. I just can't seem to find a good place to take photos in my apartment! ARGH.
Detail - This one is the closest to the true colors.
Detail
Based on traditional Japanese stories about foxes who turn into women and seduce men into acting foolishly, this image shows a fox in a state of transformation between woman and animal. The image is 12 x 18 inches, framed without a mat in a frame of the same size.
How to Bid
Bid by leaving comments on this blog through noon (Central time) on Friday, October 2. The highest bid at that time will win.
The starting bid is $20 (so I can at least get the cost of the frame covered!) and will increase by increments of 5$. So if the standing bid is $30, the next smallest bid would be $35.
IMPORTANT! If I cannot locate contact information for you from your comment (i.e. you don't like to a web page with contact info or whatever) please leave your email so I can contact you if and when you win.
If You Win Local winners will not only win this framed drawing, but they will also get to come and see my studio (aka my apartment), meet me and get a tour, blah blah blah. Winners who are not local will have their mailing cost covered as long as it is under $10. If it is over $10, I will ask for additional funds.
And since I don't trust PayPal not to rip me off (srsly, look into it!) and Google Checkouts charges more than I'd like for processing payments, I'm going to accept payments of cash or money orders only. Sorry for any inconvenience.
So, you're all set. Now................. GO!
Oh, and if you want to help in other ways, PLEASE help me spread the word! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I've talked about de-toxing before because I think it's so important to care for our bodies. Recently, I read Not Just a Pretty Face: The Ugly Side of the Beauty Industry which goes into detail about the incredible body burden we are all under. Women of child-bearing age are the most likely to have the most chemicals that can screw with a person in their bodies, which is seriously damaging the children they're having. It's messed up and it's totally legal for our cosmetic companies to sell us products full of lead and carcinogens.
The Campaign for Safe Cosmetics is working to help make people aware of this problem and to hold companies responsible for operating ethically, in ways that won't make us sick:
To find out more, I highly recommend Not Just a Pretty Face. You can also get involved in changing the way this problem isn't addressed by our regulatory bodies on the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics website. For tips on detoxing, see the related posts below.
When I first wrote about having Asperger's, John Elder Robinson, the author of Look Me In the Eye (the book that was influential in my coming to terms with having this form of autism), left a comment on my post and since then I've been friends with him on Facebook. He posted a link to his blog where he shared the story of another woman who has Asperger's and it did my little heart so good to read about all my hangups and whatnot in someone else's words and to be able to identify so strongly with someone else's experience of the world. Usually that's a little hard for me because I always feel a step removed from how "normal people" do/feel things.
So I had to share all of my favorites parts from thoseposts. These are the bits I most strongly identify with:
Everybody says Asperger's' main symptom is a lack of empathy but I don't think that's true. Women exhibit differently from men. I'm sure conditioning has a lot to do with it but also women are predisposed from birth to be more empathic I think. I know I cry at the news very often. So I wanted to look at this and other characteristics to get clear on just what I can claim as mine and what just doesn't belong.
Empathy -- I'm extremely empathic when it comes to the underdog, animals, children, the poor, the starving, etc.
I'm sure if you've been reading this blog for any amount of time, that's clear to you by now. Also, I cry at ridiculous things like Hallmark commercials and the news. In fact, one summer I saw a news story about a couple driving home from their honeymoon when the wife was crushed and killed by a rock randomly falling on their car. I was depressed for months about that because I found it so incredibly heart breaking. I stopped watching news shows after that.
Honesty -- Aspies are incapable of telling lies. We don't play the game socially. We don't give insincere compliments. If you're getting a compliment from an Aspie, you can count on the fact that it is truly the way they feel. Which makes it very difficult in society because society functions almost solely on lies.
This is very true for me now, but when I was younger and had to act all brainwashed for Jesus, I became a compulsive liar. It's as if there's an off/on switch for lying and I had to do it all the time in order to do it at all. It's impossible for me to do so now. If I think I'm going to accidentally say something rude, I just shut my mouth or try really hard to find a nice way of saying things so I don't have to lie.
Speaking Style -- Aspergians tend to download data onto you rather than have a 2 way conversation. That's why I like to write. ... I get excited and I want to share. People have accused me of always trying to turn the conversation back on myself. But that's not how it is at all. I'm trying to connect. Trying to show that I get you, I know what you are talking about. Me too, me too! is what I'm really saying. It's a hand extended in fellowship.
I'm a great listener but when I get going, look out! It's hard for me to stop once I get on a roll, though I'll often try to stem the flow. Also, if I can tell someone's bored I'll just shut down and stop talking completely.
Teasing -- We don't get it. It's so obviously laced with an ugly intent. You can feel the undercurrent pulling you down. Why are you making fun of me? I don't understand. I thought you liked me. I like you. How can you not like someone who likes you? See? It's very painful. Now I have a great sense of humor. And if there's really love behind pointing an eccentricity out, I'll laugh right along side you. But 99.9% of the time, teasing is a power play designed to put you down and the teaser up. It always feels like a betrayal. My family teased me mercilessly. I laughed but I felt the knife in my back.
I have tried desperately to lighten up. But teasing still can destroy my emotional well being. But for me, it's more of a knife in the heart than in the back.
Age -- Aspies are age-inappropriate. We are childlike and innocent and naive, even when having experienced many harsh experiences. It's a childlike innocence that pervades our entire being...
Language -- We are little professors with great vocabularies, perfect grammar, and incredible diction. But we use words in different combinations than others might. Our play on words is often not understood by anyone but ourselves. We may pronounce words differently than others and insist our way is the correct way.
I refuse to pronounce "coiffed" in the proper fashion. I do the same for other words I think sound better when they're "mispronounced." I just say my way is better and I believe it. When words sound ugly, why wouldn't I want to make them prettier?
Eye Contact -- They say we can't make eye contact. I feel I do but have been accused of not before so... ?? I know when I'm downloading data, as in talking AT you in conversation, I look at the floor or a distant inanimate object. It's just because I can't receive data from your facial expressions AND download at the same time. I can make eye contact, it's sustaining it that's the problem. I think it makes us come across as conceited and arrogant and uncaring. Which couldn't be further from the truth. In reality, we are trying so hard to give you ALL that we have on that particular subject. It's a form of generosity. So the punishing rejection after such a generous outpouring hurts. It's bewildering. But I just gave you everything I've got. I tried to be accurate and thorough, ya know? It really hurts to be misunderstood all the time.
Reading this almost made me cry. Eye contact has been a struggle all my life.
Sensitivities -- We are sensitive to noise, light, textures and smells.
Here's an example of how sensitive I am: I was at a friends house and we were dancing to some great electronic music. When I dance, I connect with music very strongly on a physical level. I took a potty break and while I was sitting on the porcelin throne, one of the guys got the "great idea" to start playing dischordant notes heavily on top of the driving electronic music. I was instantly incapacitated with nausea and literally could not move even to ask the guy to stop playing the sickening music! It took me several minutes to get up enough strength to tear myself off the toilet and stumble out the apartment and outside. I tried to fight the nausea welling up in me, but 7 minutes later I was puking all over the yard. I was super pissed that my night was ruined by some drunk guy thinking he's being cool by playing crap. *grump*
Also, anything that smells like my father, who was my childhood embodiment of all that was wrong with the world, totally disgusts me to this day. I can't stand to be around it. I also can't stand constant noise from electronics, so having to sit next to the loud-ass server at work everyday sucks because I get headaches all the time. Too much direct sunlight gives me migrains, which is why I carry a parasol, and even my intestine's regular digestion of food is often extremely uncomfortable for me because I am so ridiculously sensitive.
I love being naked because I can pick up so much more information from my environment when I can feel the breeze across my skin and let my hairs act like antennae instead of vistigial objects. But the very best is being naked with some sort of fuzzy object like a sweater or a blanket on. It's the most comforting sensation I can think of.
That post was the first of two, so here's the bits I liked from the second post and my comments:
Suicidal -- More people on the spectrum commit suicide than any other group.
Not really going to go into this since I've discussed how I was suicidal most of my life on here before. I've only attempted twice in my life, but I used to cut myself a whole lot - so much so that I'm amazed I only have scars on my torso from the last time I cut (which I'm guessing will heal like the rest did after a long enough time) and a couple permanent scars on my thighs. Cutting stuck with me longer than being suicidal because I LIKE it. Watching my body bleed helped release the pain I couldn't let go of otherwise [more about that later on in this post] and watching my body heal made me feel invincible. But I finally decided to stop because it is so upsetting to others.
Social Faux-Pas -- I'm a big old puppy. I'll come bounding up to you with a big smile on my face full of enthusiasm and friendly intent. I don't know that you think I'm trying too hard. Trying for what? I don't understand that one at all. It is true genuine enthusiasm (my favorite word en - Theos -asm meaning having God within), the real deal, not any manipulation to win your favor.
When this isn't greeted with enthusiasm from the other person, I tend to shut down. It's something I've been working on, so I'm better at it now, but it still really really hurts when someone is affronted by my enthusiasm.
Self-absorbed -- I think Aspies use the word I more than anyone else. :D It's not out of vanity. At least not for me. It's just who else am I gonna talk about? I am the only one I know this well. I'm trying to connect with YOU so I... I don't even know how to deal with this one. You try being alone 99.999% of your life and tell me who you talk about. Besides, when a sentence begins with a she or a he, mean-spirited gossip usually follows. I don't like that. It's not fair.
I struggle with talking about myself AT ALL because of this. I don't want to be see as self-absorbed so I used to not talk about myself, but then I saw people thought I just didn't like opening up. So now I try to open up and not get upset when people think I'm totally self-absorbed. I can't help that I'm living in my head and not theirs.
Routines -- We hate our little routines to be disrupted. I have my little things I do every morning and I will not allow anything or anyone to get in the way of them.
I get very stressed when I can't do my little rituals. Also, not just routines but plans being disrupted is extremely upsetting. It can be hard to roll with the punches and not get upset when something changes. But I've been working on letting go so it's better than it used to be. Also, you can see why it's easy for me to get up and do yoga every morning - it's part of my routine.
Organizing -- I used to joke that if I woke up blind tomorrow I could find a file from 7 year's ago in the cabinet. I create manuals on every subject I'm interested in. Each a book in its own right. I constantly update them and reorganize them. :D Gee ain't I fun? I LOVE it. A Staples or Office Depot is like a candy store to me. I can go CRAZY in those places!! No lie.
My organization skills are awesome, but I'm not super huge on them if I have something more interesting to focus on. When I'm bored and feel unsettled, organizing makes me calm and happy. And I have had an unholy lust for office supplies my whole life. Those and power tools turn me on like you wouldn't believe.
Expression -- Aspergians often have that hunted animal expression on their faces. Well it feels like people are coming out of the wood work to make you miserable for no good reason so... I AM a hunted animal.Often there's a serious intense expression that doesn't fit what's going on.If I had a dime for how many times I've been told I'm so "intense" when I've just been sitting there minding my own business reading a magazine or something. Huh? I know I squint when I want to suck info in. Is that what they mean? I'm sure it can make me look mean but I'm just squinting. Men with Asperger's have this cold stone boy expression. I tend to be over-animated. Just a couple of months ago a guy at Farmer's Market told me that I was the most animated person he'd ever seen. I apologized. :D :D Oh Lordy Lordy Lordy...
Trying on Personalities -- When I was younger I could not leave a movie theater without becoming the main character to a certain degree. I'd absorb them and they'd be so far inside of me that I WAS them for a day or so. The remnants will stay with me for decades.
Totally.
Temper Tantrums -- OK here's the one thing I should be terribly embarrassed about. But I think I'm lacking that embarrassment gene. I can be humiliated. But that's usually because of how someone else is treating me. If I'm really angry I can have a meltdown that puts a 2 year old to shame. I don't care where I'm at, who's watching, or what I say.
Haven't really had this exactly the same way since I was always ashamed of my outbursts. But for most of my life until recently when I've felt more calm overall, I had horrible anger fits that literally made me feel like a puppet in my own body being controlled by the anger. It sucked.
The Stare -- I'll admit it. I stare at people. Shamelessly. I'm trying to absorb info about them. My eyes actually feel like sponges. I can feel energy coming in through them. ... I am always on a fact-finding mission. I can't even take a walk without a destination to reach. (transition back to staring) People can misread this horribly. Usually men see it as an invitation. Then when I reject their advances they get pissed because they think I led them on. ?? Huh? I didn't lick my lips and look at your package. I just stared at you. Get over it. Be flattered that you're interesting. People can also think I'm being hostile and trying to intimidate them. No. Why would I want to intimidate anyone? I know how to get what I want. I ASK for it. :)
I'm subtle about it, but yeah, I totally suck up info through watching people. I can also feel the eyes of others on me, too. One reason why getting eyeballed by a perv on the street bothers me more than it might another woman - it feels like a slug sliding across my skin. EW!
Personal Disclosure -- TMI. I figure there's nobody here but us chickens so why put on airs? Ironically I'm always accused of thinking I'm better than everyone else because I look smug. HUH? I air my dirty laundry more than anyone I have ever come across. The world is my confessional. I used to say "Show your ugly", way before Ugly Betty came out. How is this being smug? It's the opposite of smug. I refuse to allow anyone to make me afraid or ashamed of anything in my life. It's too much trouble. Withholds, lies, marketing, manipulating... you can have it. I am an open book. End of story. People have used things about me against me but it doesn't work. When you have no secrets, no one has any power over you. You are free!
Yes, yes yes yes yes!
Focus -- I can focus for so long I forget to eat some days. Once I'm on the net researching new data, forget it. My stomach growls and I may or may not interrupt my research to shut it up. I'm not sure I ate yesterday, I'm trying to remember.
I used to lose myself in reading so thoroughly that I literally would not be able to hear or see anything going on around me. If I can focus on something, then I'll be lost in it completely with all my senses and imagination.
Inability to Get Over It -- ... I remember every single slight. Every betrayal, every lie, all of it. I never forget a cruelty. I do forgive pretty easily though. I really am a very friendly person. So long as I can be me without punishment from you. But I do hold onto hurts like nobody I know.
It's really hard for me to let go. Even things that I feel shouldn't still hurt me do if I let myself think about the situation to long. Focusing on the NOW helps, but doesn't alleviate all of it.
I, and others, don't feel that Asperger's is a disorder. I feel it is a neurological difference. You can SEE the difference on a brain scan. We are literally hard-wired differently than a neuro-typical person. (How many times have I said I'm just not wired that way!!) I believe we are a leap in evolution. Leaps like this occur in nature all the time. I believe a more childlike and pure sort of human is on the horizon. One that is less caveman-like and more angelic-like. More ethereal, less dense. I feel it is a requirement for the organism that is Earth to survive. If humanity kept on the path they're on, we will not have a planet to live on. It will take a certain sensitivity and honesty in order to bring her back to a state of health.
Amen, sister!
This has been something that's been perculating in the back of my brain since all forms of autism are on the rise all around the world. Maybe we're the singularity! ;)
Today's guest post comes from my friend Joe, a writer living in Los Angeles. He has worked as post coordinator for a variety of shows on MTV, VH1 and TruTV and is currently working as a post prod assistant on two new Adult Swim shows from the makers of Robot Chicken. He blogs about entertainment on his blog Your Daily Joe, and tweets with the same name.
In his review of The Ugly Truth, Roger Ebert -- the best film critic working today -- said, "Amazing that this raunchy screenplay was written by three women." Later, a reader wrote in to ask him, "So what? Women are not allowed to write raunchy screenplays, when they are the gold standard for successful men's comedies these days?" To which Ebert responded:
Women screenwriters should certainly have all the latitude of men. It's just that The Ugly Truth is so outspokenly vulgar it surprised me, and I don't usually associate that sort of screenplay with women.
This gave me pause. Mild though it may be, this is clearly a sexist notion on par with, "I don't usually associate funny standup comedy with women," or "I don't usually associate good driving abilities with women." Things that, outside of a humorous context, I wouldn't want to go on the record as having said.
What's particularly galling to me about Ebert bringing sexism into the discussion of The Ugly Truth is this: I don't like Katherine Heigl, the star of that movie. Granted, I've never met Katherine Heigl; maybe she's a super lady. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say: I don't like most of the things I've heard or seen about Katherine Heigl over the last few years. Heigl has managed to position herself as a mouthpiece for various issues, one of which is sexism in popular culture. So, in disliking Katherine Heigl's public persona, I've had to confront possible sexism in myself -- in my reactions to her, and in my perception of women in general. Is my inclination toward disliking her the very example of the sexism she speaks out against? Do her actions make me uncomfortable because she's not behaving the way I expect, the way a good little starlet is supposed to?
Before October of 2006, I'd never really been aware of Katherine Heigl. Despite a longtime affinity for stories about aliens and conspiracy theories, I'd never watched "Roswell." And I never had any interest in the whole "Grey's Anatomy" phenomenon. But it was that autumn when the Isaiah Washington controversy erupted. For those of you who may not know, Washington, one of the stars of "Grey's Anatomy," was accused of calling co-star T.R. Knight a "faggot" on the set (an accusation Washington denied). Knight was forced to publicly come out, and Washington was eventually fired when it became clear that the viewers demanded it.
During that incident, Heigl passionately defended Knight in the press. "T.R. is my best friend," she said. "I will throw down for that kid." She added, rightly so, that Washington's use of a homophobic slur was "not okay."
The public stand she took on the Isaiah Washington controversy was the beginning of the reputation she would soon have about her. For now, most people agreed that her outspokenness was appropriate. She stuck up for a friend, and took a stand against homophobia. This was all very admirable.
Just as that whole controversy was beginning to subside, the press blitz began for Knocked Up, Heigl's biggest feature film appearance since her breakout status on "Grey's." I'd been a huge fan of The 40-Year-Old Virgin, and was looking forward to this Judd Apatow/Seth Rogen follow-up. The movie was enjoyable enough (not as good as Virgin, in my opinion), and Heigl did a perfectly fine job. Then she gave an interview to Vanity Fair where she said:
[Knocked Up is] a little sexist. It paints women as shrews, as humorless and uptight, and it paints the men as lovable, goofy, fun-loving guys. It exaggerated the characters, and I had a hard time with it on some days. I'm playing such a bitch; why is she being such a killjoy? Why is this how you're portraying women? Ninety-eight percent of the time, it was an amazing experience, but it was hard for me to love the movie.
After her defense of T.R. Knight and then this, the cultural conversation about Heigl was underway. Was she right that Knocked Up was sexist? If so, why did she agree to be in the movie? She had to know, going in, how the female characters were going to come off. If that wasn't cool with her, then she shouldn't have done it; after all, she was already on a hit TV show. Seems like a cynical move -- be in a movie that's going to raise your profile (and, not coincidentally, your paycheck) even though you have ethical objections to ideas the movie is propagating.
The other side of the argument is that she may have been locked into a situation that wasn't worth trying to get out of. Maybe she didn't see eye-to-eye creatively with the filmmakers, and her role developed into something that was different than what she thought it was going to be. A common occurrence. So when the interviewer later asked how she felt about the movie, she did nothing more than to give her honest answer. She spoke her mind, and more power to her! She's real; not another one of these Hollywood puppets reciting the publicist's line.
Her anti-Knocked Up interview wasn't enough to make me dislike her, but it did leave a bad taste in my mouth. It's a clear-cut case of biting the hand that feeds. Knocked Up was a movie that was predestined to be a hit. The Judd Apatow juggernaut was running at full steam. Anybody involved in that movie was going to reap huge benefits. And she did. So perhaps it would have been the more politically wise move -- or at least the more polite move -- to keep such opinions between herself and close, trusted confidantes.
Then came the 2008 Emmy controversy. Heigl made a rather loud public moment out of her decision to withdraw from the competition. She would refuse a nomination because, she said, "I did not feel I was given the material this season to warrant an Emmy nomination and in an effort to maintain the integrity of the academy organization, I decided against competing. ... I did not want to potentially take away an opportunity from an actress who was given such material."
Translation: The writers of my show aren't catering to me and making me look as awesome as I should look.
This is where she lost me. What a completely unacceptable thing to do! I mean, seriously, how dare she! Everything she has in her career she owes to the writers of all the various projects she's acted in over the years. The Emmy she'd already won the previous year, the money, the fame, the (I'm presuming) creative fulfillment of making a living through the self-expression of acting! That's all thanks to the writers. Yes, yes, the writers need good actors to perform their material, just as well as actors need good writers to give them decent material. But that's the point! It's a team effort. That very same writers had guided her to an Emmy win the previous year, and here she was throwing it back in their faces.
Interesting that she went so public with her grievances about her lack of good material, considering her previous comment that the Isaiah Washington controversy should be kept "very much in house." If she was unhappy with the material she was being given or the direction her character was taking, the appropriate people to discuss this with are right there in the production office and on the set.
Heigl was obviously making a power play. She had flexed her feature film might in Knocked Up, so now she was stoking the flames at "Grey's Anatomy" in order to either get more money and accommodations out of that production, or else get let out of her TV contract early so that she could make more money doing features. That led to a storyline in the following season of "Grey's Anatomy" where her character had a death scare. (And no, I wasn't actually watching the show; I was just aware of the storyline.) Ultimately, Heigl and the producers were able to reach some (undisclosed) terms, so her character survived and remains on the show.
Which leads to the latest Heigl incident - her 7/20/09 interview on David Letterman. Guns blazing, Heigl is no more than a minute into the interview when she takes the opportunity to "embarrass" (her word) the producers by telling the Letterman audience about a 17-hour workday she'd just suffered through, which she said she thinks "is cruel and mean."
Well, folks, not only is a 17-hour workday routine for below-the-line crew members... not only are 17-hour days a frequent occurrence for TV writers pounding out those last-minute script revisions that Heigl finds so unworthy... not only do actors spend the vast majority of any shooting day in downtime while other people do the heavy lifting... but, as veteran TV writer/producer Ken Levine puts it:
What [Heigl] neglected to add was ... this "cruel" shooting schedule was only to accommodate HER and her needs. The producers graciously shuffled things around so she could go off and do promotion for her new film. Also, with union rules, the producers had to pay a ton of overtime and penalties to make this happen. The thanks they get is Katherine Heigl going on national television hoping to embarrass them.
So budgets were exceeded and all cast and crew members were subjected to an unnecessarily long shooting schedule so that Heigl could go on Letterman and promote her shitty movie The Ugly Truth.What. A. BITCH!
Ah, but there it is. THAT word. Symptom one of the misogynist. "Bitch." What is it that compels me to use that word here?
I recently read this blog post, which outlined various "unacceptable" female behavior, and labeled such behavior with the form of "bitch" with which it's frequently associated. A woman who steps outside of the socially accepted ideal of female behavior may be called, "mean bitch, crazy bitch, stuck-up bitch, angry bitch, bitch with daddy issues, dyke bitch, shrill bitch, frigid bitch," etc.In my weaker moments, I might be tempted to call Katherine Heigl a stuck-up bitch, and a shrill bitch, and I'd probably throw in an inconsiderate bitch and a selfish bitch for good measure. But what am I really trying to say here? She's brash, discourteous, and a loudmouth. These are characteristics we find in men every bit as frequently as we do in women. What does it add to the discussion to top off the description with "bitch"?
"Bitch" is a gendered word. As any second grader will giddily inform you, it's actually in the dictionary! A female canine. (Marge Simpson: "Well I'm going to write the dictionary people and have that checked. Feels like a mistake to me.") To use the word derogatorily suggests that there's something inherently wrong with the female gender. The very act of applying that word does, indeed, paint me as a sexist, and weakens my argument.
I don't believe my opinions of Katherine Heigl have anything to do with her being a woman, or anything to do with me being sexist - which I do not believe myself to be. If a man were behaving the same way Katherine Heigl does, I'd have just as much of a problem with him. And I probably wouldn't think to call him a "bitch." I'd call him a reckless idiot, an ingrate, an asshole... characteristics men and women can share in equally.
I don't hate Katherine Heigl as a woman, I hate her as a person.I'm a dick that way.
If you'll remember, I was recently given some family heirlooms in the shape of a trunk and many spoons. I started working on the trunk first, since I figured it will be less work overall than all those spoons. In my museum classes, we learned that to clean an old object, you should use the mildest methods you can. Water is best, water with mild cleansers are the next best, and after that you'll probably get into some conservation ethics that I'll briefly touch on later. So I started out my cleaning process with some mild eco-friendly dishwashing detergent and a sponge.
The trunk was so grimy, the effects were immediate and dramatic!
After a few minutes of gentle scrubbing, all I'd cleaned was this small area. I decided it was time to move on to something with more grime-removing power.
This is the eco-friendly cleanser I use for everyday cleaning. I pulled out some rags, because I was tired of only being able to scrub such a small surface area at a time. Here's what one of the rags ended up looking like after just minutes of use:
Ew! I cleaned it off once, twice, three times, trying to make it look better than it had origionally. But it turns out that all cleaning off the grime did was make it so that instead of looking grimey because it was grimey:
Now it just looks grimey because you can see the wood of the trunk through the very thin layer of peeling paint: So at this point I was faced with a dilemma we discussed over and over again in my conservation classes: should taking care of the object mean keeping it in the best condition based on how it was given... or does taking care of it mean I should restore it to its former glory with a paint job?
I really only debated it for a few minutes, because I remember when the trunk looked glorious and I kind of hate how it looks now. So I told my boy (who works at Sherwin Williams) to pick me up some paint.
Stay tuned for my amazing adventures in sanding and painting!
Woo! I'm 28! The age I decided when I was 10 was the perfect age for child-bearing. But I won't be doing any child-bearing for another couple years, now that I've definitely decided on doing so (having the perfect mate really helps). Gotta get rid of some of that student loan debt before I'm financially viable for a child. It's too bad too, because my ovaries are just aching to crank out a genius little lesbian girl. Yes, I've decided she will be a lesbian. Lol.
Anyway, birthdays of course, make me thing of birth and it used to be a downer because I'd just think about how my mom told me she didn't want me when she was preggers with me because the doctor said I was a boy (he was only half wrong). And then whatever loathing or depression she associated with me just kinda stayed attached to me even though I turned out to have a sexual innie not an outie.
And, of course, after I had my first miscarriage when I was 23, which was the single most physically and psychologically painful experience in my life, I'd think about that on all my birthdays, which, of course, wasn't happy either.
Now I just think about the future and how happily I feel loved in the present and I forgive my mom for the way she felt about me, because having experienced how much hatred and anger I could feel against a poor innocent fetus in my body, there's no way I can be mad at her anymore. And having made peace with the 3 kids I've miscarried (first time I miscarried twins, second time happened about 2 years ago now*), I can look forward to a time when I will welcome a little baby into my belly and allow her to transform my entire world into something I could never predict or anticipate.
That's the kind of thing that's swirling in Ms. May's brain on her birthday.
Yay Birth! It keeps life going!
*I have A- blood and that is probably what caused it both times since I'm supposed to have special shots while I'm preggers so my blood doesn't react to the baby's and vice versa and didn't know until the second time.
Has anyone else noticed that suddenly no on in the media is leading off "swine flu" stories by saying "swine flu"? Sure, they'll mention the phrase somewhere in the article as if by way of defining what this H1N1 is, but now it's all "H1N1 this" and "H1N1 that" so I'm guessing the pork lobbyists successfully won even tho no one has said a word about it ever since they dropped the more swiney language.
I recently went to check out the temporary exhibits at the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art the other day and was absolutely stunned by the amazing photography exhibit I saw there. Showcasing the work of Fazal Sheikh, an artist-activist who uses photography to create portraits of communities around the world, was a two-part exhibit.
The first showed the abandoned widows of India who have been driven to the safety of ashrams in a holy city where they exchanged prayers for food. In India, widows are no longer cared for by their husbands' families, unless they're very lucky. And since women are seen as a burden on society, they are not accepted back into their parents' homes. They are forced to make a life for themselves, which leads many of them to a place where they can be with others like them and try to scrape out a living by chanting for worshippers.
The photography is absolutely stellar. What Sheikh chose to capture when he wasn't focusing on the women's heavily-lined faces (or the backs of their heads for those I assume didn't want their face photographed), he chose the most heart-breaking details of these widows lives to show. Things like the pet rats who offer some of the women the only comfort they find in life other than their devotion to Krishna, or simply their hands folded as if in resignation at the life they've been forced to accept.
The second part of the exhibit also focused on the unwanted girls and women in Indian culture, this time showing the faces and bits of the lives of girls at a shelter.
Some were sent to the city as young as 3-4 years of age to make a living "however they can" and send it back to their families, and others are women who have run away from their husbands because of physical abuse.
The stories of all of these women are absolutely heartbreaking, and are the perfect match for the beautifully-shot images. They are the most evokative collection of photography I think I've ever seen in my entire life.
I highly suggest you take the time to visit before the exhibit ends September 13th.
Tomorrow is International Literacy Day. According to UNESCO, "Some 774 million adults lack minimum literacy skills; one in five adults is still not literate and two-thirds of them are women; 72.1 million children are out-of-school and many more attend irregularly or drop out."
I don't know about you, but I can't imagine living without reading. Reading has changed my life constantly. From providing me with viewpoints about the world I'd never be exposed to in my very strict household growing up, to teaching me how to deal with the world, make money and be myself - books have done a hell of a lot in helping me through life.
It saddens and frustrates me that something I consider to be a natural state of life is completely unavailable to some people. Considering how that would limit my options in life and make so many interactions absolutely impossible just boggles my mind.
When people can read, they can educate themselves. And when people can educate themselves, odds are they'll be more happy, healthy and successful. If you'd like to be part of the fight against illiteracy locally, donate to or volunteer with Literacy Kansas City and help change someones life forever.
My recently deceased uncle was the keeper of my grandma's trunk and spoon collection, which my aunt decided to give to me. It was neat since my sisters are the ones my parents always give heirloom-y stuff to, and this is the first piece of family history that's belonged to me. Plus, it needs massive conditioning, what could make a little ex-museum studies major happier?
I'm a huge fan of trunks. I already have one (below) where I keep my scrapbooks, drawings and whatnot, but this one is so much cooler!
The trunk I already had, which was also a gift. You can't tell from the pics, but this one is significantly smaller.
And it has a tray for two layers of storage space instead of one:
The trunk is gorgeous but after living in the houses of smokers for centuries (and a construction worker's for several years), it is quite dirty and yellow and reeks of cigarettes and wet dog (my grandma owned loads of dogs). I will be trying to make it creamy again and will hopefully suffuse the thing with the sweet smell of cedar.
Matt, @jacaphene and friend help me sort through the spoons
The spoons are all extremely dirty and many are somewhat corroded. They need to be cleaned up and displayed instead of moldering in a piece of Tupperware like they have been for who knows how long. I'm going to enjoy taking out my frustrations on these guys as much as I'm going to enjoy discovering all the awesomeness that currently lies behind the grime.
Sooo many spoons I don't know what to do!
This one's got the Buddha on it!
When these spoons are cleaned, they are going to be quite an impressive collection! There are spoons commemorating the moon landing, Apollo 13, US centennials, me and my siblings births and so much more! It's really exciting for me, because I grew up with pack rats so I developed anti-pack rat habits (there simply wasn't room for any more stuff in the house!) and the odds of my getting a sweet-ass historical, crazy and random collection such as this were so not in my favor. I'm totally overjoyed one fell into my lap!
I'll keep you up to date as I return these treasures into the lovely objects they deserve to be.
There's something about naming a place that makes it just that much more endearing (blame the influence of Gone with the Wind). There are many apartments around midtown that all seem to have been build around the same time (some are even fairly identical) that the builders gave names to. Just makes me wanna pinch these buildings in the cheek and coo over them like a baby! But I'm a dork like that.
I am an artist, writer, parent, activist, sex-positive feminist, geek, book-nerd, poly-queer, dreamer, and person with Asperger's syndrome. I have a BA in Creative Writing and a MA in Museum Studies.
So totally random I couldn't not share. Thankyouverymuch.
