Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Oh the Futility...

I'm feeling like a total loser because my self-published poetry book has yet to sell a single copy.

It's not like I had HUGE EXPECTATIONS OF A BREAK-AWAY SUCCESS. I wasn't expecting crowds of people to be snatching it up like the latest Grisham novel or whatever. I know poetry isn't a popular medium, and I'm ok with that.

But I have like 15o subscribers on this blog (last time I bothered to check), over 600 on Twitter and you'd think somewhere in those numbers, there'd be at least, I don't know, ten people who actually like poetry or want to support me enough to buy the damn thing.

But nope, nada.

Even my friends who have heard me bitch and moan about no one buying the book and have been all "I'll buy it!"... haven't.

So depressing.

There's nothing like working my heart out and no one giving a damn to make me feel like the way I spend my time and energy is a total freaking waste.

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Dan said...

I'm sorry I missed it. I will certainly buy a copy (since Santa didn't bring me one!). Will you be at the get-together this evening? If so, please bring a copy, and a pen to autograph it with! If not, I will arrange to come and get one.

Darcy said...

Now, now put the pity-party favors away! :D I too thought a Santa would bring it to my doorstep, so I didn't order one, but it wasn't because I didn't want one!
Also, it was hard to think of buying a present for *myself* amid the gift-giving season. I didn't have any poetry fans to shop for so please don't think of your amazing talents as being wasted. You should applaud the fact that you have such a large following of blog readers and twitter followers who appreciate reading and experencing all of your work. I think to think that we create because we *need* too, not because we want to serve the audience.

Anonymous said...

my review still forthcoming (now that the holidays are past...). happy new year.

May said...

Dan - Sorry, no, I wasn't at the get-together. I don't have any copies on hand at the moment because of an issue with the printer and my debit card which doesn't make any sense. I hope to get that taken care of or whatever and have some soon.

Darcy - You know I meant to get it to you, but couldn't because of the afore mentioned kerfuffle. And it's not a pity party, it's a wake so there :P

Jason - Glad to hear it. I figured all my reviewers would be held up by the holidays.

Darcy said...

How about instead of a wake we put it back on life support? In a few years when you are an award-winning author blowing up the NYT book list, it will be a very valuable item. Give it a little time my friend.

May said...

I did give it a little time... and then I complained. ;)

TAD said...

No matter how much I may want to, I am likely to never have anything of any length published. You did.

Great writers, artists, etc. are not as concerned about their sales as they are about their works being preserved. Van Gogh sold one, and only one, painting in his lifetime.

I haven't posted here before, but I have read you for awhile and glad your hiatus wasn't long. However, this post doesn't rise to your usual level of spirituality.

Congratulations on your publication, but can we have May back? Thanks.

May said...

Tad, while sales specifically don't concern me, (except, seriously I thought at least one book would sell) I am bothered by being unread.

The whole point of writing is to share it with others. Art isn't complete until it's interacted with. This is why I feel frustrated by nothing happening with the book.

I also feel frustrated when my poems aren't read much or at all elsewhere where they are free to be read online (every single poem that is in that book is on my deviantart page). But I don't put as much work into posting on there like I did into self-publishing a book, doing all the layout, etc. myself. All of that effort with zero result was upsetting, especially as it made me lose motivation for the next book of poetry I was working on.

Van Gough may be famous, but he was also a depressed motherfucker who cut off his own ear. Artists still feel upset about their art not doing well.

You may not like me being upset, but I simply wanted to express my frustration and disappointment, which I understand aren't fun to read about.

I appreciate your being a reader, but why did you wait until I did something you didn't like before you commented?