A Submissive World View [Guest Post]

luna has been in the BDSM lifestyle for over 5 years. luna authors a personal blog titled BDSM is Love. Her newest endeavor is a submissive mentorship and self-help website called The Submissive Guide where she hopes to offer training courses and articles for novice submissives on the mindset and growth and learning opportunities of a submissive.

I grew up in a relatively small town in the Midwest, US. My nuclear family consisted of one sister and 3 brothers, a dog and a couple hamsters. I grew up dreaming what every girl dreams: getting married, a house with the white picket fence and blissful happiness as a wife. I relied on God for my strength and my beliefs were very strong in an afterlife in heaven if I were good on earth.

They didn't really shatter, but more likely faded away. Not everyone can have the ideal little girl's dream. I married young, thought I was going to be living my dream. This never materialized. When my marriage ended in unhappiness and uncomfortable dissatisfaction in my life I knew that I was lacking something. A lot of my unhappiness was due to kinky thoughts that were being left unexplored. I've always loved the idea of bondage and spanking and being controlled like a slave in the bedroom. It fired my dreams whenever I read romance novels of women being captured and swept away; always taken forcefully and liking it.

I've always been a little kinky. It's something that my husband and I explored a little bit, but he never wanted to venture deep into my fantasies and I didn't push him. Sure we did a little light spanking and some bondage occasionally. That was it, and for awhile that was enough. Things changed though. My wants became needs and he refused to help me fulfill them. We parted; both unhappy but knowing that things just wouldn't work.

The freedom of being single allowed me to explore some of that. I did a lot of reading online and visited lots of BDSM chat rooms asking tons of questions. I started to see what I was missing. I learned that BDSM was more widespread than I thought. I could be whoever I wanted to be, enjoy the kinks I only dreamed about and I could find someone that shared these fantasies. It seemed too good to be true.

My reality came to be with a man I met over 4 years ago. He showed me such love and devotion. I fell head over heels in love with him and wasn't afraid of being who I am with him. We were both open at the beginning that we were kinky. We talked about the things we enjoyed to do and what we wanted to explore. He became my dominant partner and I submitted to his will.

We started with playful exchanges of spanking and flogging, nipple clamps and other sadomasochistic activities. We both found a wonderful connection with each other in these exchanges. The pain he gave me turned me on and he was turned on by it as well. It not only fed our bodies but our souls. It felt so right to submit to him during these times that we had another talk.

We discussed becoming Dominant and submissive outside the bedroom too. It would be a huge change for me as I'm not an obviously submissive person, but he drew it out of me. Slowly I had more behavior changing rules to follow. These rules reminded me of my place and gave me order to my day. Some were outright kinky and that was wonderful too. Others have made me a better person. We've been living as Dominant and submissive for over 3 years and it has been fantastic.

The acceptance of myself was shadowed by the realization that I can't let everyone know that I'm kinky and happy. BDSM practitioners all over the world, moreso in the US, are hiding from view. Most of what we do is considered illegal by sodomy laws and sexual violence lawsuits. But none of what we do is non-consensual. No one listens to that.

The world views us as perverts (a term we have coined as endearment) and social outcasts. I see us more as rogues. The good thing about being renegade is that you can be happy with being who you are and not care what society considers correct.

The binds that hold us together have been described as stronger than a 'normal' couple because of the trust and honesty that is required to live as we do. We take measured risks whenever we play our SM games. These things aren't be entered into lightly, but with knowledge and awareness. All BDSM participants embrace what we do because it makes us feel more alive than we ever have.

My childhood dreams really are coming true. I have the man of my dreams, we are developing the life that makes me feel blissful and happy. It may not be the picket fence ideal, but it works for us. I've not given up on my spirituality, but I see that being good is subjective to your ideas of what is good. I'll get to heaven, I'll just be wearing a leather corset and collar when I do.

Related posts:
News Flash: Bondage is Normal
Both/And Sexuality
Hit Me, Baby, One More Time

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