Monday, December 29, 2008

What Women Can and Can't Do

Inspired by a list of what Saudi women can and can't do (own a car, but not drive it, for instance), Jezebel came up with a corresponding list for us USA ladies:

American women can:

— drive
— vote
— run for President
— be really rich (but it helps if you're a Walton)
— join the Navy
— compete in the Olympics (but not in boxing)
— top the New York Times Best Seller List
— become men

American women cannot:

— walk alone at night without fear of being assaulted
— buy birth control pills without a prescription (except Plan B)
— marry another woman (except in Massachusetts and Connecticut)
— be a Navy SEAL
— play professional baseball
— get fat without apologizing for it
— look plain without getting shit for it
— look hot or get drunk without "asking for it"

I'd also add that women can't expect equal pay or to have our abuse cases taken seriously by judges (who tend to blame the victim) but we can wear whatever we want (mostly). What would you add?

Related posts:
Skirts = Fetish
Women's Magazines Suck
Reality versus Morality in Sex Ed

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JOCOeveryman said...

Great post. I don't know for sure what I'd add but I'll think about it while I rewatch "Anchorman"...maybe Veronica Corningstone will inspire me.

By the way....I think what you call "plain girls" are really, really hot.

FletcherDodge said...

I'm pretty sure "drive" should be on the second list.

I keed, I keed!!!

Michelle Renee said...

Women can't go around topless but men can.

Mothers can't feed their babies the way God meant us to, in some places.

Women can't be priests.

Anonymous said...

Things American men cannot do:

— walk alone at night without fear of being assaulted
— buy birth control pills without a prescription (except Plan B)
— marry another man (except in Massachusetts and Connecticut)
— choose whether or not to be circumsized
— wear creative and/or stylish clothing (though I do not consider myself effeminate, I am jealous of women's clothing - the clothing choices for men are very boring and limited)
— get fat without apologizing for it
— admit to getting sick or being in pain without getting shit for it
— go bald without being ridiculed

Also, men's abuse cases aren't taken seriously either. And in the more-frequent-than-you-think cases where a woman tricks a man into impregnating her (getting him drunk, secretly poking holes in the condoms, etc.), the man still has no choice but to at least pay child support for 18 years.

Life sucks, doesn't it?


The DLC said...

Aw, Brian stole my idea, though I would have left out the whole part about the rampant problem of women who are so desperate to get pregnant that they trick men into it.

But the bald thing? I hear ya.

Anonymous said...

The DLC:

Yea, maybe I should have left it out... or rephrased it. Basically, men have NO reproductive rights whatsoever... Once that sperm leaves his body, he is at the mercy of the courts. In many cases this is not a problem, but there are plenty of cases where a man should have the choice to either pay for the abortion or be absolved from paying child support because it is not his fault that there was a pregnancy. I just wanted to illustrate that men have no reproductive rights. And before the women here scream "but it's my body!", note that I'm not saying I have a solution, just that many things in life are not fair.

Also, that second one should have said that men cannot buy prescription pills without a prescription. Then again, I'm not a doctor so I don't believe that anyone should have free access to pills that may alter or harm their bodies without the directive of a professional.


kcmeesha said...

Agree with Bryan's comments. I would also like to take a moment and apologize for getting fat.