News Flash: Bondage Is Normal

It's nice to know that Aussie scientists agree with me that bondage and S&M sex play is totally normal and not just a result of "damaged psyches" like most people try and tell you:

An unusual sex survey has found that Australians who enjoy bondage and discipline are not damaged or dangerous, and might even be happier than those who practise "normal" sex.

The research showed 2 per cent of adult Australians regularly partake in sadomasochism and dominance and submission-type sexual role play.

And contrary to commonly-held stereotypes, they are not doing so in reaction to sexual abuse or because they are "sexually deficient" in some way, according the study of 20,000 Australians by public health researchers at the University of New South Wales.

"Our findings support the idea that bondage and discipline and sadomasochism (BDSM) is simply a sexual interest or subculture attractive to a minority," Associate Professor Juliet Richters and her colleagues wrote in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

The findings showed that it was more common among gay, lesbian and bisexual people, and that participants were more likely to have been more sexually adventurous in other ways.

"However, they were no more likely to have been coerced into sexual activity and were not significantly more likely to be unhappy or anxious," said Prof Richters, author of the book Doing It Down Under.

In fact, men who take part may be happier, with results showing they score significantly lower on a scale of psychological distress than other men.

The researchers did not study why this was, but suspect it might simply be that they're more in harmony with themselves because they're into something unusual and are comfortable with that.

Prof Richters says the findings go against professional views of BDSM.

"People with these sexual interests have long been seen by medicine and the law as, at best, damaged and in need of therapy and, at worst, dangerous and in need of legal regulation," she said.

There was also an assumption, mostly among the general public, that people involved in BDSM were sexually deficient in some way, "and need particularly strong stimuli such as being beaten or tied up to become aroused".

She said she hoped the results would help change these stereotypes.

You and be both, doc. I'm totally down with the BDSMness, and here's just a few of the reasons why:

• Foreplay - You don't understand the meaning of the word foreplay until you have spent a couple of hours investing in someone else's pleasure before the act. Bondage makes it easy to be sexy over long periods of time without having full-blown sex - though bondage sex is always better than 'nilla sex IMO.
  
  
• Communication - You absolutely have to open up and be honest with your partner about your needs and desires when engaging in bondage together. It necessitates a level of intimacy that most relationships take years to attain. It also causes you to approach your partner's needs from a non-judgmental place where you try to accept both of your proclivities and make the most fun out of them you possibly can.
  
  
• Compassion - When you're in a BDSM relationship, you spend time planning your sexual exploits which adds a level of concern and attention that most other relationships lack. This leads to an awful lot of time thinking about your partner's needs and wants on an emotional level as well as physical. All that time concentrating on your partner's happiness spills over into other aspects of the relationship and makes you more aware of their your interactions with them on a daily basis, so you're less likely to have some of those little misunderstandings that can be so frustrating.
  

And, yes, I like to tie people up and spank them, among other things.

What about you?

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