My first ever guest blog post comes from one of my friends from Penn State Erie got back in touch with me recently. I'm so happy, because Nick is smart and cool and he actually wrote me a blog post to use (unlike all those people who just say they will)! Enjoy!
I have been making so many huge choices in my life over the last 3 months, and I think entirely too much. I left a relationship, moved, got a new car, got a new computer, purchased a new phone, and hopefully found a new job. This has given me a chance to use my decision making process. I, like most people, hate regret, so I have been continually trying to make a process for making the best choices in my life. This is my innovative (to me at least) approach to thinking. I created it in middle school and have been using it and improving it ever since.
Sure, there are psychology books out there that tell explain everything in detail about motivators and needs, but I’m way too lazy to ever read any of those! Originally, I identified 3 main ways of thinking. I'll explain the fourth, new one later.
- Brain/Logic - Think about it. Your brain tells you want you want all the time. This one is the easiest to identify with. It includes most of the social needs and all of the inter-relationships logical structure. It deals with money and possibilities.
- Body/Sex - While most people think that this is the easiest to identify with, I would have to disagree. Ones body can be very finicky. Comfort, health/sickness, food, alcohol, and of course sex rule our lives in much larger ways then most admit. Not considering this as a major part of life has cost me a large amount time. Don’t make the same mistakes.
- Heart/Emotions - By far the hardest to explain. It means something different for everyone. For me, it’s the intrinsic motivation that I have to do something nice for someone else. Its energy from no where for someone I love or care about. If you stop having that internal motivation to do nice things for someone, then you don’t love them anymore. Like I said – this means different things for different people.
Buying a computer, car, or cell phone doesn’t take much more then logic on the surface. It’s mostly money and usefulness. Consider making the best choice though, wouldn’t you want all of you to enjoy these things. I can honestly tell you, I love my phone, I love my computer, and I don’t love my car (decisions that I have recently made). I would do anything for my computer or phone (as dorky as that sounds) without thought to the effort. My body and my logic like my car, it’s comfortable, and chicks like it – but I don’t love it. I love my apartment, but logically I’m not sure it was the best choice for me. It’s really a comfortable, healthy, clean environment, but it’s causing me to be stuck in a town with little chance for good employment. That decision was rushed by leaving the relationship.
It took me 4ish months to decide to leave my relationship. Logically she was a very good girl for me. For a very long time, my heart would do anything for her. My body was happy enough, I guess….ish. She spent an evening with an ex. Just one evening, in his bed. I wrote out all my options. I could stay and forgive, stay and not forgive (not really an option), leave and forgive, leave and not forgive or be a complete asshole. She was sorry. And I’m very forgiving. I never expected for my heart to not be able to forgive.
In the beginning of decision making, leaving and not forgiving was, in my mind the worst choice I could make. I kept trying to work things out, and trying to think things thru. After 4-5 months, my heart just stopped wanting to do things for her. My body didn’t even want her anymore. My logic was still in love. Logically, forgiving is easy, its just words and thoughts. But my heart couldn’t forgive her; so much that it was effecting my sexual desires (of course that was somewhat due to the sexual nature of the offense). I left her, and I have no intentions on forgiving the offense. Its not anger as much as disappointment.
After making all of these choices, all in 3 months time or so, I've decided that I've left out an important part of my life and motivation. Spirituality is a hugely neglected part of my life. I feel things that most don’t, and that I don’t understand. I’ve been having a very hard time really pinpointing and defining such a thing. Defining spirituality would turn it into logic or heart, so I just have to take it for what it is. It’s hard to separate heart from spirit, but in my model it would be hard not to. It plays an equally important part in decisions and relationships. If you don’t feel someone or something with that 6th sense, then you aren’t going to really enjoy them or it. That extra connection is key. I wish that I understood it more.
Does this mean I’m crazy? To define complex ideas into simple ones to ease the process? I’ve never really been sane, so it’s hard to tell.
I’m always open for suggestions on improvements, but remember I’m lazy – so don’t make it more complex!
You can email Nick directly at Gettyiv at yahoo.
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