Thursday, July 10, 2008

How Kansas City is Like Gotham City

With a new Batman flick set to come out soon, I am once again reminded of one of the many reasons I love this damn city so much: it reminds me of Gotham City. "What?" you ask, incredulous, "how is Kansas City at all like Gotham City?"

Well, I'm glad you asked.

1. The officials are corrupt, but we're used to it so no one cares.
In Gotham City, Batman "wakes" to his destiny partly because of the corrupt officials that Commissioner Gordon tries to help him take down. Luckily for the city residents, they tend to not notice, believing the line of BS that generally comes from the downtown offices. Here in Kansas City, we have a similar situation. All you have to do is take one look at Tony's Kansas City to see post after post about our Mayor's shifty double-dealings. Or, you could just live here for a while and eventually you'll pick up on the corruption - or at least you should because it's everywhere! Most people seem not to care, but who am I to judge?

2. Lots of dark, stormy nights!
The above image is about what I imagine when I think of Gotham City: gigantic cloud formations bubbling in the sky while lightning and thunder crash around the evil doers about to get their asses whupped. I'm sure that there is other weather there too, but who gives a crap? Stormy awesomeness is the best and Kansas City is one of my favorite places because of it.

3. Street violence out the wazoo.
Gotham City is full of punks waiting to rape an innocent Betty or rob and murder some poor couple just out of the movies. Here in Kansas City, we like to keep the violence as far away from the Down Low as possible. Check out this mapping of recent crimes, there's not a lot of places without markers.

So you wonder why with all this corruption and mayhem I still love this city? It's because I have a sick condition of being amused by places, people and things that are completely ridiculous. And I think it's completely ridiculous that Kansas City is just like a city out of a comic book.


Tony said...

Agreed 100%

Also, there are so many jokers running around here.

Very nice by the way.

Joe Pontillo said...

If, on the other hand, you found Kansas City to be similar to Frank Miller's Basin Sin, I would advise you to run run RUN away!!!

Anonymous said...

this town needs a batman. maybe there's calling here for you

j_sir said...

Born and raised in Cowtown, and totally obsessed with The Joker, I can't tell you how gratifying it is to read this. Ironically, my name is Tony, too!

Tony Staples, a.k.a.

--Patient 'J'--