Thursday, May 8, 2008

Would We Like You When You're Angry?


I don't know how you guys deal with anger, but it took me a long while to learn to deal with anger positively. I grew up in a household full of angry people and it was an emotion that was the most constant in my life ever since I can remember. So I found this article from Pathways to Happiness about understanding anger quite insightful.

Anger is the natural emotional response to pain or hurt. It is part of our instinctual system for protection and preservation. It is a force of energy that we project in order to push away a threat when we perceive being hurt. However anger ceases to be a form of protecting your life and becomes a means of destroying your life and relationships when the threat isn’t real.

Anger itself is a completely rational emotion to have when you perceive the thoughts and scenarios in your mind. There is nothing irrational or wrong with the anger from imagined scenarios and beliefs. Your emotional response system is working properly. The problem is with the thoughts, beliefs, and scenarios in your mind that generate an anger response. They are often not rational at all.

Other problems are created when you do not have the awareness and will power to refrain from outbursts of your anger. It's easy to assume that your anger is the problem because it is what you notice. It is the outbursts of anger that we see and that cause destruction. However your emotions of anger are just a natural response to what the mind imagines. If you perceive and believe what the mind imagines you will create emotions as a natural response. (Read the rest of the article here.)

I can get this, for sure, because I didn't really get a hold on my anger until I decided that I wouldn't express my anger to other people until I could perceive the underlying cuase of it and talk to them about it or until I could perceive the underlying cause and decide that it wasn't worth bothering someone about. Hopefully that makes sense?

How do you deal with anger? At work? At home? Is it different for different people? I know I'm less patient when random people give me shit on the street, but then I'm not really angry at them usually, just irritated that they're giving me shit. Anyway, thoughts?

Related posts:
Thoughts on Learning By Experience
You Want Me to Put that Where?
Insanity of Christianity

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5 comments:

Anonymous said...

When I am angry I eat cheese to calm down. If do not calm down I can toot at whomever I am angry at later.

May said...

See, now that is a use for cheese I would never have discovered on my own ^__~

Anonymous said...

Cheese, the utility food with 1000 uses.

Rarus vir said...

Hi, I picked you up from Verve.
Nice to meet you.

May said...

Nice to meet you too :)

Welcome!