Monday, April 14, 2008

On the Death of Polaroids (and my Love Life)

"Alignment" ©2008 wesley furgiuele/via FILE magazine

I know that the harsh chemicals involved in photography is bad for the environment, but I'm totally bummed out that Polaroids are going the way of the dodo. And since it's a cute story why I like them so much, I'm going to tell it to you:

may & matt: a love story with photographic evidence
I met my current boyfriend when I was 19 and we were both attending Maple Woods. I had an instant physical attraction & mental curiosity towards him that's never been matched by another guy. We became friends, hanging out in the same group of people at school and whatnot, and eventually it became obvious that we liked each other more than we liked most other people. So we started hanging out off campus. Here's a picture from the first time I went over to his house:

Adorable, right? I'm hiding because he handcuffed me to the bed ...

..and then I had a panic attack about it,
but I liked it anyway
(this was when my 'issues' first started
coming out as random panic attacks & it was fairly embarrassing
b/c I couldn't control it and didn't always understand what triggered it).

Long story short, we both had significant others at the time so we resisted temptation as long as possible... but then one night at a party we ended up making out upstairs on the couch and all hell broke loose. You just can't contain that kind of sexual energy, peeps. Anyway, we started having an 'affair' which was weird, but we both wanted to be together while thinking the other person just wanted us for sex so neither of us ever brought up the 'C' word (commitment!) or told the other person we wanted to be with them.

I felt bad being a cheater, but only when I wasn't with Matt. When I was with him, he made everything else in the world seem less real (still does) and it was impossible to take my boyfriend & our relationship seriously compared to the earth-shattering affects Matt had on my brain and body.

But, anyway, here's where my Polaroid love really comes in. Matt spent I have no idea how many packets of film photographing me in various phases of undress in those days. It was awesome because I'd never done that with anyone before and because it was so natural with him instead of being awkward like it's been a few times since. Here is a couple of risque pictures from them days:
God, I loved that skirt...

Not that I'm not proud of my parts,
but this isn't that kind of blog...
plus, some of my coworkers read this
and I already feel I'm toeing the line

Eventually Matt got tired of my not putting out and broke off our 'affair.' After that our friendship also started to get shaky and then eventually I moved to Pennsylvania to finish college. While there, I got all fat, married some guy and ended up really depressed (partially because I was secretly pining for him all those years and barely realized it). But in the back of my head, I always was happy to know that Matt still had the best part of me with him through those Polaroids.

Long story short, I finally had the balls to tell Matt how I felt shortly after moving back to KC last year and now we're living happily ever after. AND I have to say I was looking forward to reviving the whole Polaroid-taking part of our relationship when this whole horrible thing broke. I'm so disappointed.

Related posts:
Add Some MMmm! to your Morning
Nudity for a Good Cause
Wink: Your Friendly Neighborhood Sex Shop
How To Seduce a Trekkie

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Tony said...

Awesome post, very brave, I hope you don't mind me linking and I'm glad that you pointed out you were of age (at least 19) when you took the photos.

Polaroids - Ah, a pleasant memory of the past!!!

emawkc said...

Digital point-and-shoots are the new Polaroids (although you have to be careful when using the term "point-and-shoot" in the context of nekid pictures on the inkernet).

May said...

@tony Thanks for linking ^__^

@emawkc yeah, I suppose so. I'll have to give in to progress, I guess.

crystal said...

That's such a sweet story, it's so amazing to have a love like that. Polaroids give me a warm feeling inside. just happy nostalgia. It is a shame.

Anonymous said...

You probably already know this but

May said...

I DIDN'T! That's awesome :D