Thursday, November 1, 2007

Leslie of Ms. Led tells me what's what

A while back I wrote a review of Ms. Led's latest album, Shake Yourself Awake. Needless to say, I was happy to receive an email response from Leslie last week answering a question I posed. Here's what she had to say:

the reason i'm writing is to tell you what "willing to stay" is all about.
first of all, here are the lyrics:

i know that you're not ready to leave
but can you be so sure
that you are really willing to stay?
i can't really guarantee that i won't mess this up tomorrow
you seem pretty done with how i've messed this all up today
i never wanted you to look at me that way.

don't tell me that you're giving up this time
just tell me that you'll try
cuz i don't want you to go.

you're asking all these questions
trying to sort out my intentions
that i can't even sort out for myself.
can't make this any easier
can't make this any clearer
and i'm sorry but i just can't seem to sort this out for somebody else.
you know i've never handled confrontation well.

don't tell me that you're giving up this time
just tell me that you'll try
cuz i don't want you to go.

i don't want this to end
you're my best friend
i'll need you more than you'll ever know.

patience is wearing thin
you think you've seen my true skin
and i've shattered what you've seen in me for years.
can't get that back
but where i am is where we're at.
and now all we have to do is get through here...

******************************
*************
i think the song may make sense to you just seeing the lyrics, but it comes down to being in a long-term relationship while suffering from an existential crisis. the last few years were really hard for me, meanwhile my girlfriend was the great supportive girlfriend, putting up with me and all my flaws. while i was trying to figure out my own crap, i was putting her through similar crap and she was done with it and i knew it. i couldn't necessarily 'stop' dealing with my own issues, but i was trying to get her to hang on while i worked on my own stuff. it was hard because she and i were at such a crucial point and we had gone from that great "love jail" world where nothing is ever wrong to actually dealing with ourselves as individuals with real problems while in a relationship . i think we both wanted it to stay easy. the 'willing to stay' line at the beginning is basically me saying, "look i can tell you love me and don't necessarily want to break up with me, but are you sure that you really want to stick around? because i don't know that it's going to get any better than this anytime soon".

geez, i can't tell if that made the song make more sense or made it more confusing...

i don't know why i felt compelled to tell you all this - i think it's because you stated "someone please tell me!" on your blog and i figured i'd be the only one with the answer!!

take care-
lesli (of Ms. Led)

Thanks, Leslie.

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